


Telephone Line

by sciderman



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Phone Sex, ask-spiderpool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:55:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7528186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciderman/pseuds/sciderman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter receives a call. (Presumably set in the future of ask-spiderpool).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Telephone Line

**Author's Note:**

> It hurts writing ask-spiderpool sometimes, because this is all that's going through my mind.  
> Sorry for the cliché title, but they can't all be winners. It's named after an ELO song, if that helps.
> 
> Based on **[this post](http://ask-spiderpool.tumblr.com/post/140813371283)**. 

“Hey Wade. What did you forget?”

 

“ _Forget_? Babe, do I have to have forgotten something to want to call my baby boy?” Wade's voice cooed over the line. Peter shivered.

 

“You only left two minutes ago.”

 

“Uh! But I already miss you _soooo_ much...” Wade whined, his voice sultry and breathy.

 

Peter had opened his mouth to respond, but Wade continued.

 

“I miss your hands around my waist…” Wade sighed, “...your breath against my neck…” his voice dropped, “...your long fingers wrapped around my---”

 

“Are you doing what I think you're doing?” Peter interrupted, mouth still agape.

 

“Listen”, Wade spoke, tone shifting to talk business. “Remember ages ago when you said I should pursue a career as a phone sex operator?”

 

“Faintly.”

 

“Was there any particular reason to bring on that suggestion?”

 

“It is a lewd business.” Peter said dryly. “You are lewd.”

 

“I think it's because you were _dying_ to hear me ask you what you're wearing”, Wade said, his voice dropping deep, made rich with the hoarseness so distinct in Wade's voice.

 

Peter bit his lip. It was the only thing to keep him from vocalising the warm feeling that started swimming in his stomach.

 

_“What are you wearing, baby?”_

 

Peter coughed. His throat was suddenly very, very dry.

 

“I’m wearing the same thing you saw me wearing three minutes ago.”

 

Wade was silent on the line for a few seconds. Peter imagined he was probably pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“...You've gotta work with me here, Pete.”

 

Better give in, he thought. He laid back, making sure his sigh was audible on Wade’s end of the line. He brought the hand not occupied with the phone to rest on his stomach.

 

“I’m in my underwear.” Peter said, soft.

 

A satisfied hum came from the line, and Peter’s back arched slightly just from the sound.

 

“Mm, getting comfy? I love the way those boxers ride low on your hips. Where are you? In bed?”

 

A short “ _mhm_ ” was Peter’s response. The hand that he had laid on his stomach had slid downwards, thumb toying with the waistband of his boxers. The ones that rode low on his hips.

 

“Was thinkin’ o’you, when you called”, Peter whispered, head laying back on his pillow.

 

“I only left four minutes ago.”

 

Peter snorted.

 

“Yeah, but you left in a whirlwind, like you were going somewhere important. And where are you? Outside the front door?”

 

“F’course not” Wade replied fast, “I can’t jerk off in the corridor, man, that's messed up.”

 

“Oh, is that what’s happening? Are you jerking off?”

 

“No.” Wade said. “I mean, I could be, but you're not being very helpful right now.”

 

Peter couldn't help the wide grin that spread on his face. His fingers spread on the small patch of skin that was exposed between his tank top and his boxers.

 

“It’s your voice,” Peter eventually said, “I love your voice”.

 

 _“My voice?”_ Wade repeated, with a smugness. He overplayed the deepness of it. Peter knew he'd never hear the end of it after this, but in all honesty, he didn't care. If the penalty is more dirty talk whispered in his ears, he could live with it.

 

Peter’s hand pushed down under the waistband of his underwear, hips starting to cant in small circles as he jerked himself off.

 

“It does things to me”, Peter breathed out, eyes fluttering shut as his hips rolled. “I’ve imagined so many times what it’d sound like… deep, hoarse, husk voice… whispering heavy against my ear. Telling me you love it when I take you like this.”

 

There was nothing to be heard from the line for a few seconds, which made Peter slow himself, waiting for a reaction.

 

The quiet, shaky whine he was eventually paid made it worth the while. He knew he was hitting the mark.

 

“Why do I never hear you dirty talk? You’re--” a small groan, Wade was having just as much fun as Peter was, “--you’re so good.”

 

“I don't know, I guess I think it's corny,” Peter replied, a little bashful.

 

“Peter Parker, you've lived with me for very nearly three years. You've gotta know me better than that. Corny makes me horny.”

 

“And that just killed my boner, thank you.”

 

Wade snickered, and Peter chorused with a breathy laugh. He was in _love_ with this idiot.

 

“Seriously though, where are you?”

 

“Where do you _want_ me?” Wade said, deep and seductive.

 

Peter could barely speak through his laughter.

 

“Serious! Where are you? You only left five minutes ago. You didn't break into the neighbours again, did you? I seriously doubt you could bribe them not to press charges _twice_.”

 

“They're out of town. They'll never know.”

 

 _“Wade!”_ Peter would've sounded appalled, if it weren't choked with laughter.  

 

“I'm kidding! Kidding! I'm in a broom closet.”

 

“How did you get in a broom closet?”

 

“I'm in here with the maintenance man. We're having an affair.”

 

Both ends of the call were filled with laughter. Wade’s laugh was hoarse and sweet, and Peter had no doubt in his mind it was his _favourite_ sound in the world. He looked up fondly at the ceiling, imagining all the times he’d heard their laughter together, with Wade’s wild grinning face hovering above him.

 

“I love you” Peter said, when his own laughter fell.

 

Wade was silent again. Peter had said _I love you_ at least a thousand times to Wade, but Wade was always at a loss for words every time he heard it.  

 

“Love you too”, Wade mumbled at last, “but that isn’t dirty enough for dirty talk.”

 

 _“Love you…”_ Peter repeated, in an exaggerated moan.

 

“ _Ohh,_ that's a little better”.

 

Peter overplayed a pleased hum, as he resumed his rhythm. “Mh… You know, _you_ could be the one touching me right now.”

 

“Or you could be here,” Wade grunted, “...pressed up close and cozy in this tight broom closet.”

 

“ _Nh_ … and what would we _do_ in that tight broom closet?”

 

“Probably suffocate to death. There’s definitely no room for two people in here. _Certainly_ no room for Jesus.”

 

“ _Wade.”_

 

“Sorry. No more boner killers” Wade vowed. His voice dropped to the husk, deep tone that Peter adored. “Are you touching yourself?”

 

Peter flushed. He couldn’t help the breathy shudder of a moan that escaped him.

 

“Yeah”, he breathed, closing his eyes as he focused on the deep warm rumble of Wade’s voice. “Yeah, are you?”

 

“Yeah…” Wade spoke, drawn out and melodious. “ _God_ , yeah.”

 

Peter imagined it. The beautiful visuals to pair with the glorious sounds that he _wished_ he could hear in all their glorious clarity. Wade’s head bowed, body contorted to fit in that tight space, hand moving at a hungry pace to match the sweet grunts Peter could hear over the phone.

 

“Mm… want you here…” Peter whispered between shallow, fast breaths. “Want to… ng… feel you pressed against me…”

 

Wade’s sounds kept getting sweeter and louder, driving Peter wild.

 

“...Want to see you… desperate… _begging…”_ Peter kicked up the pace, head thrown back, heels digging into the mattress. “...want to… see your face when you–”

 

There was a crash on the other end of the line. A clang of various heavy objects tumbling to the ground, paired with a squeal that was undeniably Wade.

 

Peter stopped. There was a beat of silence.

 

“...Wade?”

 

Quiet.

 

A muffled, distant “...yeah?” was eventually heard.

 

“What happened over there?”

 

Wade was quiet for some seconds, before he spoke up, in a small voice.

 

“I… came?”

 

Peter was silent. Until he burst out laughing.

 

“Are you okay? That was a bit of noise.”

 

“ _Yeah_ , well I've never really been a quiet climaxer. You should know that by now.”

 

Peter felt a trickle of tears from his eyes. He couldn't stop laughing.

 

“God, Wade.”

 

“I killed the mood, didn't I?”

 

“You know what's a mood killer? That you're not here, in bed with me, despite being within a 10 minute radius of here.”

 

“That's a very fair point.”

 

“Yeah, I thought so too.”

 

A moment of quiet.

 

“Wade?” Peter spoke up, inquiringly. He fidgeted, pinging the waistband of his boxers for no real reason.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Did you leave the flat just to try phone sex with me?”

 

Wade was quiet. Peter imagined he was pursing his lips, debating the appropriateness of whatever he was about to say.

 

Wade’s tone of voice was mildly embarrassed when he at last spoke up.

 

“...I forgot my keys.”

 

Peter stopped. His eyes darted to the bedside table where, sure enough, Wade's keys were left.

 

“Wade.”

 

“...Yes?”

 

“Is that the real reason you called?”

 

A clunk was heard, paired with a small frustrated curse.

 

“...I got sidetracked”, Wade eventually admitted.

 

Peter snorted.

 

“Well, I'm not delivering them to you”, Peter said lazily, outstretching on the bed, “You're just going to have to come and get them, and… while you’re here... ”

 

Wade was listening intently on the other end of the line.

 

“...finish me off?”

  
Peter barely finished off his sentence before there was a frantic ring of the doorbell.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Grand Finale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7609486) by [bexorz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexorz/pseuds/bexorz)




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